#23

"I really think love is not based on effort."
"Don't you think so?" 

"Then what is it based on?"  

"You want cold water. I fan the cup a million times, then someone else walks by with ice."
"You want something from a person. Maybe you have expectations. I work with flood sweat and tears to reach to your expectations. And then suddenly someone else just came by and has that thing you've been looking for. So, you go with him instead."

My friend shared this conversation with me yesterday. It put me in a deep thought. Really deep.
Such a sad truth of life. Why life is always unfair to us?

It made me think of those who had been fanning the water a million times, just for me. Jon just came by with ice, I went with him instead and willingly fan the cup a million times, for him. Yet, I was never the ice for him.

After all the tears and heartbreaking moments, I realised that what I really want for my partner is not the ice. I would never want to pick the ice again if there's chance for me to make the choice again. I would instead appreciate the one who is willing to fan the cup for me, who puts in his efforts to make me happy, who I am comfortable with. I would also put in all my efforts, just for him.

Life is a long journey. I would want a lifetime partner who plays with me, teases with me, bears with me, and most importantly who is comfortable with me, instead of having serious arguments over these days. I long for the day when we get old, we can still walk hand in hand teasing each other like a child.

I tend to think more wisely as I walk through the heartbreaking pathway, and I believe that I have just only few more steps to complete the journey. Yet, I am not ready for any relationship. So.. my Mr. Right out there, be patient, please don't come to me in the near future. I would definitely turn you down :(

However, there will finally come the day that you walk into my life accidentally, instil me the confidence of believing in love again, convince me to have my faith in you, give me the courage to place my hand in yours, inspire me to be the better one, and stay with me for the rest of our life.
I look forward to meeting you. See you soon!

Good night.